Parents of children under 18 probably don’t remember, or barely remember, a world without internet. I raised my kids while the internet was in its infancy and adolescence. There wasn’t a whole lot that could be done in those days to prevent kids from seeing something their parents or guardians didn’t want them to see. Today, there are several tools that can help children use technology for learning, creativity, entertainment, and connection — while still setting limits that fit their age and maturity. Ideally, children should only use the internet under supervision, but these tools can act as fences. Kids might be able to get around them and bad actors might be able to get in, but the tools will make that a lot more difficult, sort of like letting the kids play in your own fenced-in backyard where you can see them from a window. A fence helps, but it does not replace checking on the kids.

Start With Built-In Family Controls

Before paying for anything, parents can start with the tools already built into many devices. Apple Screen Time can help parents limit apps, restrict content, manage purchases, set downtime, and review device use on iPhones and iPads. Google Family Link can help families manage Android devices, app approvals, screen-time limits, downtime, school-time settings, location, and some Google services. Microsoft Family Safety can help parents set limits for Windows, Xbox, Android, Microsoft Edge, apps, games, websites, and searches.

These built-in tools are a good first layer. They are especially helpful when children are using devices that are already part of the Apple, Google, or Microsoft world. (Microsoft says web and search filters require Microsoft Edge and the Family Safety apps, with the child signed into a Microsoft account.)

Add a Parental-Control App

Some families will want more than the built-in settings.

Qustodio is a broad parental-control tool. It can help with web filtering, app blocking, screen-time limits, location features, activity reports, and alerts. Bark is especially known for monitoring and alerts. It can help parents watch for possible problems in texts, social media, websites, apps, screen time, and location, depending on the device and plan. Canopy focuses heavily on real-time filtering. It uses AI to help filter explicit images, videos, text, and some chatbot content, without necessarily blocking an entire website.

These tools are helpful fences, not impervious walls. Children may still run into things parents do not like. But they can reduce risk and give parents more visibility. For older children, monitoring works best when it is paired with honest conversation. Children should know what is being monitored and why.

Consider a Kid-Safe Phone Instead of a Full Smartphone

Depending on their age and maturity, the best choice for a child may not be a regular smartphone with restrictions. It may be a phone designed for children from the start. Gabb phones are built around fewer distractions. They emphasize no internet browser, no social media, talk and text, GPS features, parent-managed contacts, and kid-safe options. Pinwheel phones also take a more guided approach. Pinwheel offers parent-managed phones, no social media, no web browser by default, schedules for apps and contacts, location tools, and a curated app library with safety ratings. These phones can be a helpful bridge for families who want children to have communication and independence without giving them the full adult internet.

Give Younger Children a Safer Starting Place for Search

Search is one of the places where children can quickly leave safe territory. Kiddle is one option designed for children. It offers a more visual search experience with editor-vetted results for web, image, and video searches. A child-safe search engine is not a substitute for supervision, but it can be a better starting point than sending young children straight to a regular search engine.

Think in Layers, Not One Perfect Solution

The best approach is usually not one app or one setting. It is layers.

A family might use:

• Apple Screen Time, Google Family Link, or Microsoft Family Safety for basic device rules
• Qustodio, Bark, or Canopy for stronger filtering or alerts
• Gabb or Pinwheel for a first phone
• Kiddle or another child-focused search tool for research
• family rules about screen-free times, bedrooms, downloads, and online communication

The right mix depends on the child. A six-year-old may need only approved apps, videos, books, and games. An elementary-age child may be ready for simple research with safer search. A preteen may need more creative tools and school resources. A teen may need growing independence, but still with limits around strangers, explicit content, late-night use, and addictive apps.

The Goal Is Not Fear. The Goal Is Gradual Freedom.

Children need to learn how to use technology. They need to learn how to search, create, communicate, avoid scams, manage distractions, and make wise choices. But they do not need the entire adult internet all at once. Parents can start small, add freedom gradually, and adjust the rules as children grow. Today’s tools are still imperfect, but they are much better than nothing. With the right combination, parents can give children useful technology, real entertainment, and growing independence — without handing over every risk of the open internet at once.

I organized the types of resources by category, simplified the entries and included suggested questions to ask about each resource here: https://philslist.org/prefer-to-call-for-information/

For decades, the disability community has been strangled by a policy of mandated poverty. To maintain life-sustaining benefits like Supplemental Security Income (SSI) and Medicaid, individuals have had to navigate the $2,000 resource limit. This has historically forced a choice between financial independence and the preservation of essential healthcare. If you saved for a rainy day, you were punished; if you built a career, you risked losing your safety net. However, we are entering a new era. A combination of legislative expansions, regulatory shifts in Social Security, and sophisticated planning tools is finally dismantling this “financial glass ceiling.”

The 2026 ABLE Expansion

Starting January 1, 2026, ABLE (Achieving a Better Life Experience) eligibility expanded to people whose disability began before age 46, instead of before age 26. A person can be older than 46 when opening the account, as long as the qualifying disability began before 46.

A person may qualify by receiving SSI or SSDI based on disability or blindness, or through a disability certification showing a medically determinable physical or mental impairment that began before age 46, has lasted or is expected to last at least 12 months or result in death, and causes marked and severe functional limitations. ABLE eligibility is not simply an employment or income test; working does not automatically disqualify someone. Conditions such as autism, ADHD, anxiety, or depression may qualify when they are medically documented and severe enough to meet the functional-limitation standard.

Bypassing the Last ISM Hurdles

“In-Kind Support and Maintenance” (ISM) has long troubled SSI recipients. In the past, benefits were reduced if anyone else covered your food, clothing, or shelter. In 2005, the federal government removed “clothing” from the ISM calculation and, even more significantly, removed “food” in 2024.

Disabled Adult Child (DAC) Benefits

Shelter is still part of SSI in-kind support and maintenance. If someone let’s the SSI recipient live with them rent-free or pays an SSI recipient’s rent or other shelter costs directly, SSI may be reduced by up to about one-third, depending on the living arrangement and the value of the help. A safer strategy may be for a third party to contribute to the beneficiary’s ABLE account, and for the beneficiary to use ABLE funds to pay rent or mortgage expenses. ABLE distributions for housing are not SSI income, but housing withdrawals should generally be spent in the same month they are taken to avoid being counted as a resource.

DAC benefits are Social Security benefits based on a parent’s work record. They may be available to an adult child whose disability began before age 22 when the parent is retired, disabled, or deceased. Marriage usually ends DAC benefits unless the spouse receives certain Social Security benefits. If DAC ends because of a non-exempt marriage, re-entitlement on the same parent’s record is generally barred even if the marriage later ends, with narrow exceptions.

Many fear that the higher income from DAC will disqualify them from Medicaid. However, Medicaid can generally continue even if SSI is lost, provided the loss was solely due to the start or increase of DAC benefits.

“Self-Certification”—Simplifying the System

The traditional disability-benefits system can be a difficult maze of medical evidence, forms, and eligibility reviews. By contrast, ABLE accounts use a much lower-barrier enrollment model. In many ABLE programs, a person does not have to upload medical records when opening the account. Instead, the person self-certifies that they meet the ABLE eligibility rules and keeps proof, such as an SSA benefit letter or a written physician diagnosis, in case the ABLE program, IRS, Treasury, or another authority later requests it. This does not mean documentation is optional; it means the documentation is generally retained by the account owner rather than submitted up front. For people already carrying a heavy disability-related administrative burden, that simpler entry process is a meaningful accessibility improvement.

For more information, see these sources:

https://www.ablenow.com/save/eligibility

https://www.ecfr.gov/current/title-26/chapter-I/subchapter-A/part-1/subject-group-ECFR6c19e80ca381eaa/section-1.529A-2

https://secure.ssa.gov/poms.nsf/lnx/0501130740

https://www.ablenrc.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/ABLEAccountDisabilityCertificationForm_2025.pdf?

https://thearc.org/blog/able-accounts-2026-updates-how-to-open/

https://www.irs.gov/government-entities/federal-state-local-governments/able-accounts-tax-benefit-for-people-with-disabilities

Retirement and inheritance planning is very complicated because of all the factors we can’t know, like when people will die or how the stock market will behave. When you throw in trying to plan for a special needs adult family member as well, it probably triples the complexity. With help from ChatGPT, I created a spreadsheet that can help with the planning and model different financial circumstances. I intentionally used realistic numbers in the base case so that the year-by-year page would show a funding gap that would need to be planned for by the family.  There are various scenarios the sheet will calculate so families can get a better idea of what might happen if some of the variables change.  Give it a try and email me at charityawareness@commonheart.org to let me know how it worked for you. It works best on a laptop or desktop computer. You can use it in Google Sheets or download it to Excel.

Link to Special Needs Family Lifetime Planner Prototype

To determine if you are eligible for SNAP (known as Food and Nutrition Services or FNS in North Carolina), you must meet specific requirements regarding your household, income, and resources.

1. Basic Eligibility Criteria

You may be eligible for FNS benefits if you fall into one or more of the following categories:

• Have no job or a low-paying job.
• Are elderly (60+) or disabled and have a low income.
• Are currently experiencing homelessness.
• Receive other benefits like Work First Family Assistance (TANF) or Supplemental Security Income (SSI).

2. Household Rules

Eligibility is calculated based on your “household,” which is defined by who you live and prepare meals with:

• Household of One: If you live alone, are homeless, or have roommates you do not cook and eat meals with, you apply as a household of one.
• Larger Household: If you live with others and prepare and eat meals together, everyone (including children and seniors) must be counted in the household.

3. Income and Resource Limits

FNS eligibility is based on a complex calculation of your household size, total income, and assets.

• Income Limits: There are limits on the amount of money your household can receive monthly.
• Asset Limits: There are also limits on “resources” (property and money you own), though you may still qualify if you own a home or a car.
• Deductions: Case workers will look at your specific expenses, such as medical or shelter costs, to see if they can be deducted from your income to help you qualify.

4. Other Requirements

• Residency: You must be a resident of North Carolina.
• Citizenship: You must be a U.S. citizen or have a certain legal status (undocumented immigrants are not eligible).
• Social Security: You must have a Social Security number or have applied for one.
• Work Requirements: Able-bodied adults without children may be required to work or participate in a work program to maintain benefits.

How to Confirm Your Eligibility

Because the calculation is complex, the state recommends that you apply even if you aren’t sure if you qualify. You can check your eligibility or apply through the following channels:

• Online: Apply at ePASS.nc.gov.
• In-Person: Visit the Union County Department of Social Services at 2330 Concord Avenue, Monroe, NC 28110.
• Screening Help: You can contact More In My Basket at the Union County Center (704-283-3737) for an eligibility screening and help with the application process.

suggests this 30-day plan. This 30-day plan focuses on immediate emotional support, medical navigation, and long-term financial security.

Days 1–7: Establish Support and Early Intervention

The first priority is connecting with other parents who understand your journey and initiating developmental care.

• Connect with Peer Mentors: Contact the Family Support Network of North Carolina (FSN-NC). They specialize in peer-to-peer mentoring and parent support groups, providing a direct way to meet other families in similar situations.
  • Phone: 800-852-0042
  • Website: fsnnc.org
• Visit GiGi’s Playhouse Charlotte: This center offers a custom, research-based curriculum specifically for individuals with Down Syndrome from prenatal through adulthood. All programs—including those focusing on literacy, math, and motor skills—are free of charge.
  • Website: gigisplayhouse.org/charlotte
• Apply for CMARC: The Care Management for At-Risk Children (CMARC) program provides specialized care management for children ages 0–5. Registered Nurses or Social Workers can help identify your child’s specific needs, set goals, and link you to a “medical home”.
  • Contact: Union County Human Services Agency at 704-296-4300.

Days 8–14: Access Specialized Health and Education Resources

During this phase, focus on local clinics and libraries that provide specialized developmental tools.

• Consult the WoMB Clinic: Located at Wingate University, the WoMB Clinic provides free infant development assessments and parenting support to help your baby reach important milestones. They also offer specialized services like pelvic floor therapy for postpartum recovery and lactation counseling.
  • Phone: 704-233-8972
  • Website: wingate.edu/womb-clinic
• Reach out to the Alliance for Children: This organization provides a continuum of programs for parents from birth until kindergarten, including “Circle of Parents,” where you can discuss the challenges of raising children with special needs in a supportive environment.
  • Website: theallianceforchildren.org

Days 15–21: Financial and Healthcare Planning

While your child is young, it is critical to initiate applications for programs with long waitlists or specific eligibility rules.

• Join the Innovations Waiver Waitlist: The Innovations Waiver funds community-based services and supported living for individuals with I/DD, but the waitlist in North Carolina is currently 18,000+ people deep with a 7 to 10-year wait. Register your child immediately, regardless of their current age.
  • Innovations Waitlist Line: 1-833-780-2587
• Open an NC ABLE Account: This tax-advantaged savings account allows families to save for a disabled child’s living expenses without losing eligibility for SSI or Medicaid. Funds in an NC ABLE account are also legally protected from Medicaid recovery at death, a benefit that does not exist in every state.
  • Website: ncable.nc.gov
• Apply for Supplemental Security Income (SSI): SSI pays monthly benefits to disabled children in households with limited income and resources.
  • Website: ssa.gov/benefits/ssi

Days 22–30: Caregiver Wellness and Community Engagement

Caring for a child with special needs requires maintaining your own mental health and utilizing local community supports.

• Register for Caregiver Support: Join Trualta, a free online portal for Union County caregivers. It provides expert advice and a community space to help you manage potential burnout and learn about navigating chronic conditions.
  • Sign-up Link: nc-caregivers.com/short-signup
• Check the “Kindness Project” for Supplies: The Union County Library serves as a year-round collection point for the CMARC program. If your family is in need of basic material supplies like diapers or wipes, contact CMARC or visit the library to inquire about these resources.
• Call the Special Health Care Needs Helpline: For ongoing questions about benefits or potential services, North Carolina offers a toll-free helpline specifically for parents of children with chronic physical, developmental, or behavioral conditions.
  • Phone: 800-737-3028
  • Email: CYSHCN.Helpline@dhhs.nc.gov